fegie: (burnt around edges soggy in middle)
fegie ([personal profile] fegie) wrote2013-03-21 02:53 am

(no subject)

beginning to think it’s true that people need hugs & touch to survive hahaha.

i always wear everyone out. push away, keep them away, without even knowing why, still wanting closeness but then? who even wants that? i’m not good to be around, not good to deal with.

i ruin everything. everything. there are so many relationships i can think of where it’s my fault that i look at them & go, “why don’t we talk much/at all anymore?” and then i try & it’s just, give up, give up, you ruined it. maybe you didn’t realize it, but does that matter when it’s already wrecked? you’re alone, you worthless idiot. and it’s all your fault. and it’s only going to get worse.

i wear everyone out anyway. so it’s for the best that they ignore me, that they keep me away. it doesn’t matter about me, how i feel, when i’m such poison to be around, or in contact with, even online. it doesn’t matter. it. i.